Being thankful even when we don't want to......

I didn't get my chemo today. I was supposed to receive it. I went to my apponitment with the expectation of being there for a long time, with an IV plugged into me. But things don't always go the way we plan them.

God sometimes has other plans, although we don't always know the reasons, and that doesn't always set well.

While I was having my exam, the nurse kept asking me about the side effects I had charted over the past 3 weeks. We discussed everything from my GI issues to sleep disturbances. Then she asked me about my hands and feet. One of the common side effects of one of the drugs I am taking is redness on the soles of the feets and the palms and fingertips of the hands. Like a good girl, I stuck out my hands, thinking nothing is abnormal, and she said, "Oooh, your hands are red. Let me see your feet." I show her my feet, forgetting about the remnants of the old blisters I got while traipsing all over the lakefront during my recent Chicago trip, and she says, "Oh, look at how red and cracked your feet are!" Seriously, I didn't think my hands and feet looked any different than when I was in the office 3 weeks ago (with fresh blisters!). She pointed out the tips of my fingers, to try to get me to see what she meant, but I still didn't believe her. Then the PA came in and was greeted with, "You need to look at the redness in her hands and feet." Great.......

So, the PA continued to expound on how red my hands and feets were. In my mind, I am saying. "Pink, yes. But, red, NO!" And when I last checked, pink was an acceptable color. The bottom line is that after all was said and done (and the rest of the exam was completed), the PA wanted to delay chemo one week to let the redness clear up. At first I thought I would just not get the one particular offending drug, but no, they wouldn't let me have anything.

Man, I was not happy. We had just been talking about setting up my surgery and what week it would be. Now, the surgery will need to be set for a week later. It'll be mid August now. Sigh.

Driving home, I had to work very hard to remind myself that God has a purpose for this delay, too. I reminded myself that this was my first and only glitch so far; I am sure there are others who have had many more delays and for more derious reasons. I reminded myself that I need to be thankful for health care providers who watch for these things rather than let them slide. As I have already stated, it wasn't something I was concerned about, but I learned I should be more diligent in watching out for less obvious things. And, I purposed that I will try to make the most of this "free" week, catching up on things around the house and spending time with the girls.

So, there is no chemo report to report about tonight. God gave me a week off for His reasons. And I thank Him for it.

"Whate’er my God ordains is right. Though now this cup, in drinking, may bitter seem to my faint heart; I take it all unshrinking. My God is true, each morn anew, sweet comfort yet shall fill my heart, and pain and sorrow shall depart." ~Samuel Rodigast (1649-1708)

posted by Kim @ 9:08 PM