What's next?
Monday was the day I had been pointing to each time someone would ask me, "What's next?" Since I am still relatively new at this cancer thing, I haven't always known how to respond. The usual, "I don't know" would sometimes alternate with the even more vague, "Beats me!" I was hoping that Monday's appointment would help clear up some of the unknowns.
Monday was my 3 month follow up with the oncologist. The last time we actually talked about my case there was right after Labor Day, at my surgical follow up. During the 3 months that followed, I had begun and completed my radiation treatment. So, I had a number of questions to ask.
Michael accompanied me to this appointment; it was nice to have someone to drive with for a change. I had a relatively short wait before being called back into the exam room. One bright spot was that the Thanksgiving holiday didn't reek too much havoc on my body as the scale actually registered one pound lower than in September. I saw Janice, the nurse practioner, this time, although I could hear Doctor Holmes' voice in the hallway. While I would probably prefer to actually be seen by the doctor herself, I figure that as long as she is in house and available for the more difficult treatment related questions, I am fine seeing Janice.
Results of the exam:
- BP was the lowest it has been in months (all during radiation treatments, it was really high....we decided that the machine stressed me out)
- physical exam was unremarkable (aka "she didn't find anything suspicious")
- labwork drawn 3 weeks ago was good, including tumor markers and everything else they look at
All in all, it was a good exam, as far as exams go......
So.....what's next???????????
- I will continue to receive Herceptin treatments every three weeks into February.
- I will see Dr. Holmes in another 3 months and then probably go on a 6 months recall schedule.
- I will have periodic bloodwork done, and Dr. Holmes will monitor those areas which might indicate a need for further testing.
- I will see the radiation oncologist in 3 months for evaluation.
- There will be periodic chest x-rays and yearly mammograms.
- I need to get back on a regular exercise program and hope to do that once my energy levels return to normal, since radiation knocked them for a loop! They gave me a 6-8 weeks timeline, post-radiation, so I figure that I should be back at it by the first of the year.
One side note about Monday's appointment - I am seeing mostly new faces in the treatment room now. Monday was no different. I met a lady about my age (she has a daughter graduatiing from Texas Tech this semester) who started chemo in late September. She has had a really rough time of it but is starting to feel a little better now that her meds have changed. I was able to encourage her that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I was able to share with her that hair does grow back, and she will begin to feel normal again. I realized that 6 months ago, I was in her shoes. It made me even more grateful for the road I have walked and those who have ministered to me.
Styling
I got my hair cut yesterday. Well,
cut might be a bit of an over exaggeration.
Trimmed might be a better choice of words. Actually, it would be more precise to say that the stylist snipped off about 1/8 of an inch of frizzy ends. She said she would "give me more shape." Yeah, right. But, I really did feel better after I left the salon. One more step back to normalcy, I suppose.
There is only one shape to my head right now. Round. Picture a bowling ball Chia Pet with about 1 and 1/2 inches of growth. Oh, I am not complaining. It's nice to see hair growing back again. It's coming in very thick....and curly.....and with about twice as much gray as before......
Ryan has asked me if I am going to be daring and shed my wig. What he doesn't know is that I haven't always been wearing my wig. Lately, I have only been wearing it when I go to church (sure don't want to scare all those little kids!) or places where people know me but don't know about the diagnosis. And an occasional trip out for dinner or a movie. Other than that, I've been going
au naturelle. The stylist was trying so hard to be reassuring yesterday. It was actually a little funny as she told me that in 6 months or so, I can come back in, and she'll fix me up with a
real style
and color!
So, the question still remains..........which "me" will end up in this year's family photo? Since Ryan will be in town for Thanksgiving this weekend, I guess the decision will be forced upon me soon.
Follow up and update
I had my follow up with the radiation oncologist yesterday. My blood pressure was not through the roof in spite of the high schooler who almost rear ended me on the way there. It was a very uneventful visit, actually. I answered no to the litany of questions I was asked. Well, I answered no to all of them except, "Are you feeling any pain?" If you answer no to that one, the nurse invariably says, "Really?" It's as if she's calling you a liar right there. In actuality, she realizes that most of her patients
are experiencing pain/discomfort at one time or another when they come there. She's not calling us liars; she just wants us to think through our responses and answer honestly. So, yesterday, I answered yes to that one question. The boost area (the area treated with an extra dose of radiation) on my chest where the incision is still hurts. It still is in various stages of desquamation (see earlier post for definition!) and is quite red and sore in certain areas. I think it is interesting how healing (something good and desirable) can be painful (something no one wants) at times. There are great Scriptural applications here, but considering that I am typing this in the wee hours of the morning, I will save those lessons for another day!
The radiation oncologist was pleased with my progress. He was thorough in his physical exam and noted all my comments about how I was feeling. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary to him at all. I was instructed to continue to use all of the topical remedies he's prescribed for at least another 3 months. That's when I will be going back for my next appointment with him. What was really strange was making an appointment for February 15. While it seems so far away now, I know it will be here in a heartbeat. Have to get through one birthday and Thankgiving, then one birthday and Christmas and then one more birthday before that yet. Lots to do!
My next scheduled "event" is my 3 month follow up with Dr. Holmes (medical oncologist) on Nov. 27, the Monday after Thanksgiving. I know I am scheduled to have blood drawn, and I expect her to give me a clue as to "what is next." Being at the end of treatment is a strange and somewhat unsettling place to be. It is so hard to answer all of the questions about the unknowns. I am sure there is a regular sort of schedule of testing and scans that is done in cases such as mine; I just don't know what it is yet. I do know that I will continue to receive Herceptin treatments every three weeks until February. Other than that, your guess is as good as mine. At this point in my life, however, I am more than content to have unanswered questions floating around out there. After all, none of us has any guarantees when it comes to our health anyway. Having cancer just makes one face those uncertainites head on. Right now, I am just looking forward to the upcoming holiday and birthday seasons and grateful beyond measure for the gift of life.
GIVE THANKS TO GOD, FOR GOOD IS HE (paraphrase of Ps. 136, author unknown)
Give thanks to God, for good is He, His grace abideth ever;
To Him all praise and glory be, His mercy faileth never.
His wondrous works with praise record, His grace abideth ever;
The only God, the sovereign Lord, Whose mercy faileth never.
His wisdom made the heavens be, His grace abideth ever;
He spread the earth above the sea, His mercy faileth never.
Praise Him Whose sun doth bring the day, His grace abideth ever;
The moon and stars His might display, Whose mercy faileth never.
He helped us in our deepest woe, His grace abideth ever;
He ransomed us from all our foes, His mercy faileth never.
Each creature’s need He doth supply, His grace abideth ever;
Give thanks to God, enthroned on high, Whose mercy faileth never.
Desquamation
Desquamation - a fancy word for one's skin peeling off in scales or flakes.
Life as it is now. There goes my tan.
Time to celebrate!
Radiation treatments are over as of 2:30 today! I received my discharge instructions, a diploma (suitable for framing), a little angel rubbing stone and a hug from every staff member from the techs to the scheduler. I am now free at 2:15 every day. I'll have a follow up appointment in 2 weeks, but for now - I am FREE!!!!!!
Many thanks for all of your prayers and support during this phase of my treatments. Your faithfulness in prayer has been a true blessing! God is good - ALL the time!
Earthly remedies
For someone who has rarely needed to get a prescription filled in decades, this year has been an interesting one filled with many a trip to the pharmacy. This past week, I added three more prescriptions to my arsenal. All of them are supposed to help alleviate some of the skin issues I am dealing with due to the radiation treatments. Each of them has a specific purpose, and it has become a game to remember which item gets applied to which area and why (moist, dry, itchy, peeling,.....).
Since today is my final radiation treatment (celebration and party to follow!), I know that these inconveniences will be short-lived. The radiation oncologist did tell me yesterday, "It will probably get worse before it gets better." But, I am ready with my gigantic tubs of seemingly every concoction known to man (we have been reviving the use of the word "salve" around our house lately....a favorite word of my dad!). More importantly, I have my confidence NOT in these earthly rememdies (although they certainly help!), but in the healing power that comes by prayer and supplication at the foot of the cross.
"Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed." ~Isaiah 53:4-5
